Monthly Archives: June 2016

We all learn differently

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I sent my first son off to school in the hope that he’d find water like a duck does. He seemed to enjoy himself and especially loved the bike ride to school.

It wasn’t until we fast forward a few years, I can see how much they have/not learnt, and how differently every individual is in their learning experience. Quinn didn’t miraculously start reading. Far from it. And it’s been quite a road to get his confidence and fluency up. And when your kid isn’t a reader, they basically don’t read by choice. So whilst his peers are eating Harry Potter and coincidentally flexing their reading muscles, my child is doing everything to avoid reading for ten measly minutes a night. So we basically do every second night at gun point. And you can imagine how happy our household is at these times.

I’ve blabbed at many school gates and sought comfort in other parent’s stories. And without any formal testing, we don’t even know if Quinn has some definable label. We can only presume and have got him explicit help that is making a difference. This is no small topic and a very personal, potentially triggering place to find yourself in as a parent. Do we worry too early or leave it too late? Should we ‘wait and see’ and let it ‘work itself out’ or get help early and make a difference but also potentially influence your child psychologically and emotionally in ways you can’t expect. Ah the decisions we face as parents. But positively Quinn is slowly improving with tutoring, remedial assistance and age, it’s a slow burn.

Nothing is straightforward in life so why do we assume learning to be. It’s very interesting to see how diverse we are in our learning styles and strengths.  With the rather homogenised learning approach that mainstream schooling uses, it is no wonder some kids fall through the cracks or lose confidence. And that’s not a blanket criticism, it’s just that it suits and inspires some more than others.

On a positive note, I wanted to share Quinn’s creativity when asked to do a recent assignment on a rainforest animal. He didn’t show much engagement at first and recoiled at the idea of standing up there with palm cards he can’t easily read…not to mention sweaty palms. So he wrote a song and played it to his class whilst he jazzed along. I couldn’t help but share. (Be warned: proud mum alert). It does help when your dad is a music producer and backing vocals by your younger brother.

We all have different gifts and it’s about finding them. This was Quinn’s chance to shine in his arena.

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Click here to listen to his song, Spider Monkey:

Ubuntu: African Philosophy

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“Ubuntu” : “I am what I am because of who we all are”

This is a Bantu dialect African philosophy based on the belief that a universal bond of sharing links all humanity. It is through this common bond to our fellow humans, that we discover our own human qualities.

This saying was brought to popular culture by the writings of Desmond Tutu, Archbishop of Cape Town and Leader of anti-apartheid movement who won a Nobel Peace Prize for his work. As he put it:

“It is the essence of being human. It speaks of the fact that my humanity is inextricably bound up in yours. It speaks about wholeness, it speaks about compassion. People with Ubuntu know that they are diminished when others are humiliated, diminished when others are oppressed, diminished when others are treated as if they were less than who they are. The quality of Ubuntu gives people resilience, enabling them to survive and emerge still human despite all efforts to dehumanize them.”

And the South Africans fighting for independence strove to have integrity even in the face of adversity.

Nelson Mandela when asked to define Ubuntu in an interview in 2006 replied, “In the old days when we were young, a traveller through a country would stop at a village, and he didn’t have to ask for food or water; once he stops, the people give him food, entertain him”. It’s this ‘no questions asked’ hospitality that is present often in the poorest of cultures, that many of you may have experienced when travelling to different lands. I will never forget taking a trip from Cairo to Siwa Oasis in the Libyan desert where a local Muslim man got out his food and shared it with everyone on the bus before he ate. He had no airs about it, it was simply his custom.

There isn’t a direct translation in our language for Ubuntu, but we all know the value of sharing and giving. Being more individualistic by nature though the messages we get can be more about our family or our community, rather than humanity at large.

I want to share a beautiful video made as part of Amnesty International Poland response to the refugee crisis. So they let a European and a refugee sit across from each other and look deeply into each other’s eyes for four minutes.

When people are willing to look deep in each other’s eyes, one sees no labels any more. We see no language or birth or nationality. What we do see is a soul and a soul who sees purity, warmth and especially vulnerability.

I’m going to be braver next time I’m on a train and a stranger smiles at me, braver to hold the space a little longer and feel the human-ness that connected us all.